Petanque
Oxford Dictionary Definition
“The process by which a man and a woman vent their competitive natures in a non verbal no contact sport”
We have been playing boules or petanque on our trip. In the early days we didn’t really keep score however now we have honed rules and a format for our year long tournament. It consists of trying to get your boules as close to the “cochonnet” (little piglet ) (green ball) .
In case you ever get the chance to place a bet on this once BetSport gets on side , Kate is better on firmer surface whereas i like the soft sand and I play better under the influence than Kate .
Cairns gets the prize for being petanquers friendly
I did a bit of research (looked at wikipedia once) to check how our rules fared against what I now know as the FIPJP (Fédération Internationale de Pétanque et Jeu Provençal) the world governing body of all things boulish.
Im sure there is an APB across all Macdonalds restaurants as i am making a name for myself by spraying food due to laughing as i use up their bandwidth across Australia. This excerpt from wikipedia on Petanqueing terms may explain why.
to fanny (mettre fanny in French)
To win a game without the opposing team scoring any points; a shutout game. When a player loses 13 to 0, he is said to fanny (“il est fanny”, he’s fanny, or “il a fait fanny”, he made fanny) and must kiss the bottom of a girl named Fanny. Virtually everywhere in Provence where pétanque is played, you will find a picture, woodcarving, or pottery figure of a bare-bottomed lass named Fanny. Often, the team that made “fanny” has to buy a round of drinks for the winning team (“Fanny paie à boire!”, “the fanny pays for the drinks!”).
If that doesn’t make you take up the sport I don’t know what will !
I have also learned a petanque joke .
A guy from Marseille is stuck for months on a desert island when finally a raft comes along with a woman aboard. She turns out to be from Marseille herself (the accent of course) and after offering him pastis and saucisson and whatnot that she has with her in her survival bag. The guy is amazed and aux anges . Then she asks him how long it has been since he saw a woman. pardis, 6 months he says. So she comes closer and asks in a sweet voice if it would please him to tirer , jeez he exclaims you haven’t brought the boules have you?
Tirer is a petanque term for knocking your opponents boule out of the way
Tirer is also a rude french term for having sex .
Feel free to use when you are next in the company of french speaking boules enthusiasts with a rude send of humour .
Unfortunately Kate and I have missed out on the world championships that took place this month in Belgium but heres to the next once !
Don’t think my old “ticker” would cope with the excitement of playing “pétanque”😁